Just Like Me

This is from a card that was forwarded to us by someone who had gifted our book to a friend and her children following her cancer diagnosis.

Snuggle Me
Archival digital print
20" x 16"
from the book
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings

Thank you so much for the beautiful book. 


I had read a couple of books to the boys but the one you gave us was by far the most beautifully written and most appropriate in every way for Jack to identify with.  As I read it to him on every other page he would say "that's just like me, Mommy!"


                                                                                                                             Sally 

Sally went on to say " We are certainly in for the battle of our lives, but we are feeling blessed..."


Thank you for sharing our book.  Ellen and I also feel blessed to bring some comfort to others, as so many have done for me, and for us.
                                                         Nanci

Finding Balance

Nanci's cairn

Just a year ago I posted a Thank You Note to the Big C on my Art & Inspiration Blog.
It was also a kind of good riddance closure kind of thing. Not happening. Many of you know that two months later I learned that I had breast cancer again. Apparently many of my life lessons needed to be revisted.

Earlier this month the Helen F. Graham Cancer Center hosted their First Day of Hope. They offered a day of nteresting speakers, info and workshops. One workshop in particular resonated with me. It was cairn building using small river stones. The intention was to help us identify the various roles we take on in our lives and finding the right balance for optimum health.

Here was the process:
1. Choose any 5 stones from a large selection on the table in front of you. (this was done before knowing step #2.
2. Assign a role to each of the stones that you have chosen.  If you have more than 5 pick your top 5. Already that was a good way to limit how much we each take on!
3. Now try to balance them on top of each other.
4. If one of them just doesn't work- take it away. (stone for "community work" didn't fit)
5. If any of the stones needs to be switched out, trade it for another.
(VERY interesting- the stone I chose for artist was too big and had to be switched)

This photo was not the arrangement I came home with.  I had put the biggest stone on the bottom which was my "mother" stone.  I shared this story with a healer I am working with and she said "You have to feed the mother (a.k.a. self) first" which interestingly enough was the way my boys stacked them when they gave it a try. They intuitively knew that!

And now my stack is balanced with putting self/healing first. As we change and our lives change so will our stones. But for now this is the way it is and I am ok with that.

Hope you find balance in your life this holiday season!

Easing a Child's Burden at a Scary Time

Halloween aside, it's often scary for children and their families any time of year when they hear the word cancer.  

"Mom really likes it when I draw her butterflies!
She says they remind her of our butterfly kisses,..."
from Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

" Nanci, 

     I met you as I was passing through the Breast Cancer Event area at (Helen F.) Graham 

Center. You gave me a book and I brought it home and read it that evening. I was impressed with your beautiful illustrations and the way the story so wonderfully covered every aspect of a child's experience with Breast cancer at home... I ordered 2 more. One for a friend and one for the  Odessa library. It's my way helping in some way to ease a child's burden at such a scary time..."

                   Dolores Sebastian

Thank you Dolores for being a part of our Gift- it- Forward program and sharing our book with others. 

Sending you Wishes on Wings...

"the best book on this subject that she has seen yet"

Christiana Care Breast Center at The Helen F. Graham Cancer Center recently hosted a Fall Breast Festival. As part of this event, they generously made it possible that all of their patients and breast cancer survivors attending received a copy of our book Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful helpful book for kids.

The staff at
The Breast Center Festival at
Helen F. Graham Cancer Center
set my signing table with
beautiful flowers, butterly garland and festive felt butterflies on the table

This except is from a wonderful email that I received following my recent book signing at the Breast Center  

"My mother, Ellen, would like to donate a book to the Tower Hill School library.  

Ellen (or Meghan and Jack's Nana) is a 29 year breast cancer survivor.  Last week, she attended an event at the Helen Graham Breast Center of Christiana Care Hospital.  During the event, she was given a book called "Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings" signed by the illustrator Nanci Hersh.

My mother worked for years at the American Cancer Society in their Patient Services division.  She has realized that there is not a lot of information for young children when their parents are going through cancer.  It's a beautiful book for parents to read to their children...a resource about how to talk to a child about a parent's cancer diagnosis...the best book on this subject that she has seen yet!

She was delighted to have received this book and to be able to give it onto others."

Excerpts from an email from Christine, whose mom, Ellen attended the event.  

Thank you Ellen, and Christine for being a wonderful part of our Gift -it-Forward program!

Butterflies at the Breast Center Fest

That's right, there will be butterflies at this year's Breast Center Fall Festival at the Helen F. Graham Cancer Center in Delaware.

Butterflies
©McVicker&Hersh,LLC

We are honored that our book Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings has been selected as the featured book at the event.

We will have our art prints, as well as copies of our book in English and now in Spanish!  I (Nanci) will be there signing books, and am looking forward to seeing some of my dear friends who are truly butterflies in my life.

There will be Breast Health Education, tours (it is a beautiful facility!), Breast Health Education, Giveaways, Door Prizes, Pink Ribbon items on sale to benefit the Breast Center Special Needs Fund.

Hope to see you, too!

Who Wore it Better?

You decide...

no comment.   

Actually, I may have only worn it once or twice.  Itchy, hot, and it was summer after all.

Maggie on the other hand, has been seen out in her new "do."

This is my new look these days.

Now its onto radiation.  

As anyone out there tried aloe?

A Promise to Michael

Pinkie Promise
from Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings
©2011McVicker&Hersh, LLC

My girlfriend Michael is dying.  She is under the nurturing care of staff at Shalom Park in Aurora, Colorado.  Diagnosed with ovarian cancer four years ago, Michael has been at death's door more times than anyone I have ever known ... yet, she  has refused to enter each and every time.  She has been quite remarkable in that way - so remarkable, I even made her a  promise...

Yesterday, August 22, 2011, I knelt beside Michael's bed and told her that I would tell  the whole   world what a wonderful job she had done.  So now, I am keeping  that  promise.  I am putting it out into cyberspace that my girlfriend (and friend to so many others), Michael Sears, did indeed do a remarkable job – a remarkable job of letting people into her world as she was dying ... and an even more remarkable job of fighting this insidious disease.

                                                                                                           .... to be continued

It's Not Hard to Say Good Bye

To Taxol that is.  Today is my last Taxol infusion.

I opted for the 4 treatments every two weeks recommended by MSKCC vs. the lower dose once a week for 12 weeks suggested by my oncologist at the Helen F. Graham Cancer Center in Delaware.
The thinking is lower doses, less side effects.  Fortunately, aside from some body aches and chills for a couple of days and sleeplessness from the steroids that are given with the drug, it has not been a bad run.  I believe this is large part from the acupuncture treatments I have been receiving regularly (and good luck?)

Nanci at Philadelphia's Magic Gardens, July 2011
photo by Kay Healy
Photo session made possible by the Leeway Foundation

On to radiation next.  Are we having fun yet?

Besos de Mariposa

Our book is now available in Spanish! Thanks to Edith Camargo, nothing is lost in translation.  The empowering message of our book is now in paperback for our Spanish speaking families.

Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

As we work on updating our website with our new edition please contact us directly if you need a Spanish copy of our book in the near future.

ellenmcvicker@butterflykissesbook.com

Ready to Go

Illustration from book
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2011McVicker&Hersh,LLC

The new Spanish paperback edition of our book- Besos de Mariposa y Deseos con Alas has cleared customs and is on its way!  

Keep you posted.

Hot News - BK WOW - now in Spanish!

We are excited to announce that our book Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids will soon (very!) be available in Spanish as a paperback book!

Ellen's words, beautifully translated by Edith Camargo will help Spanish speaking children and their families cope with a loved one's cancer diagnosis.

Ask us how you can be a Mariposa for someone you know....

How You Can Help

The Color of Feelings
archival art print available
from the book
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings...

Last week our younger  son suffered severe damage to his left eye when he was accidently struck by a swinging golf club.  We are all devastated, sad, angry, worried-  the whole spectrum of human emotions.

We are also tired, very tired.  Just three weeks prior, our older son suffered a bad break of his clavicle and I am in the midst of my chemo treatments.

The outpouring of support from those who are aware of what's going on has been heart warming and truly a blessing in our lives.  Many have and continue to ask "how can we help?"  A couple of friends suggested I put it in writing so when people ask or come by I can say- "Take your pick"

Here we go...

How You Can Help  
1. Bring a meal (by the way we are good in the "candy dept." no mas please)
2. Pick up some groceries along the way.
3. Vacuum the stairs
4. Vacuum the first floor
5. Vacuum the bedrooms
6. Clean a bathroom (if you are brave you can attack the boys'!)
7. Walk the dogs
8. Clean the rabbit and her cage (only true animal lovers need apply)
9. Weed a small patch of my yard
10. Bring a bag of dark mulch and put some on an area that has been weeded.
11. Pick up and drop off dry cleaning for us.
12. Take the boys out to Five Guys or Friendly's
13. If you are staying over, bring your own pillow and towels
14. Put in a load of laundry
15. Fold clothing
16.  Clean the turtle's tank (see #8)
17. Drive me to a chemo treatment 
18. Drive me to Philly for accupuncture appt.
19.  Accompany me to a drs. appt. for Nate
20. Take the boys to the library
21. Wash my kitchen floor.
22. Answer my phone so I can nap.

Any of those things would help tremendously.  Please don't wait for me to call you and ask for help, I don't know your availability and that is awkward.  Just call and say, "Hey Nanci, I have some time on ____ (pick your day), does that work for me to come by and help?"

Please feel free to share this with anyone who knows us or taylor it if help is something you need as well...

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Cousins Ellen McVicker & Nanci Hersh

Butterfly that she truly is, Ellen flew in from Colorado this week to spend some time with Nanci.  First stop together was J.Christian Studio in Hockessin, DE, to get a buzz cut.  Hair started coming out after Nanci's second treatment on Tuesday.  J.Christian and his wife Marcy are butterflies in so many people's lives in this community giving their talents and time to benefit local chartities like Crazy Catwalk for Kidds.

Masha, one of J.Christian's stylists buzzed Nanci while J.Christian documented the event.  Video forthcoming!

anyone remember the Patty Duke Show?

After the buzz, it was time for the wig to be styled.

We decided we need to name her and are looking for our followers to help name her.
What do you think "she" should be called?

Kicking or Kissing, whatever gets you through

Kisses help, at any age, whatever kind.  Sometimes my favorite time is when I go into my boys' rooms and kiss them when they are sleeping. They look so peaceful, and still so innocent.

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

But then, there are times when I have to switch to Combat Mode... "Kick Cancer's Butt"  a slogan in so many of the cards I received from Nate's 5th grade class.

Studio Shot

 So here is a studio shot of a friend's combat boots and the final painting.  This was a commission. I held onto the boots so I could do a painting for myself - to remember to Kick Cancer's Butt.

Combat Ready, 2011
from Walks thru Life: Shoe Portraits
by Nanci Hersh

Pinkie Promise

Cancer is not contagious, but germs are.  

Paranoia is creeping in, well not quite.  But caution is, and I need an  ongoing tape to remind by boys to wash their hands, put up the seat, put down the seat, and need I say it again (YES!) wash their hands.

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

I still love to hold those 11 and 13 year old hands... but please use soap!

Pinkie Promise
Archival digital print from the book
Available
11" x 14"

Wondering

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2011McVickerHersh, LLC

There is a lot of that going on around here.

This is an illustration from our book of my son Wondering.
I know he thinks a lot about whether he will get cancer, especially since I am a BRCA 2 carrier.

Fortunately, these days, there is help and information available.  FORCE is one such organization that offers support and information about hereditary breast and ovarian cancers. Sharsharet is another wonderful organization that helps young Jewish women, in particular, facing breast cancer as it has been found that women from Ashkenazi Jewish population are at higher risk for  the BRCA gene mutations.

A lot to take in, a lot to take on, but so much better when we don't do it alone.

Just Like MeatLoaf

2 out of 3 aint bad...

I want you

I need you

But there aint' no way I'm ever gonna love you

Don't be sad

'Cause 2 out of 3 aint' bad

   

-Meatloaf

That's how many of my drains were removed yesterday in NY at my follow up plastic surgery appointment.

Have to wait another week to have the 3rd removed. (yuck)

Otherwise, I am healing well.  Also, met with my surgeon extraordinaire, Dr. Kimberly Van Zee. There is something to be said about going someone who only focuses on the breast, or whatever specific  concern you have. Their eye, their experience, and in my case, a woman.  

More on that later, but I feel pretty good, optimistic, and ready for the road ahead.

For now, I am home resting, ready to pop in the movie Harold and Maude. 

Forget the popcorn, Meatloaf anyone?

Fancy Cakes, 2007
14" x 11"
Digital print on hand made paper with inclusions
©2011NanciHersh

Accessorizing

Pages from Book
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

Am home from the hospital now.  Back with my family, surrounded by flowers and cards, and in my own bed, makes me a happy camper.

My follow up doctors' appointments are Thursday. I will get my drains removed (will spare you the details) and possibly, find out what my next course of action is.

Eight years ago, I didn't need chemo.

This time, I will need to consider accessorizing.  Thankfully, my dad is a milliner!

Nobby Shoppes in Linden, NJ is the last of his string of stores.  At one time, his Nobby chain included 10 shops in New York and New Jersey. Growing up, I was immersed in the colorful world of hats, handbags, leggings and more.  Always one to supply me with my fashion needs, Dad, in true form,  had a shopping bag of turbans and scarves, ready for me to sort through when I got home.

Until then, at the suggestion of my sister in law, have done some accessorizing of my own...

Found a new use for my Wedding draw string purse...

a friend in Hawaii made it years ago to match my wedding mules

Wedding Mules #3, 2011
5" x 5"
acrylic on canvas
©2011NanciHersh
from the
Walks thru Life: Shoe Portraits Series

Perfect Timing

Pages from our book
ButterflyKisses and Wishes on Wings:  When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2011McVicker&Hersh, LLC

As we turn to this page in our book, it is coincides perfectly with real life.

I head into NY today in preparation for Wednesday's surgery.  Radiation is most likely further down my path.

One step at a time. Surgery.  I am ready.  My sister in law is coming down to stay with the boys.

Hope SHE is!

cells- the good, the bad, the whatever

\

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a helpful, hopeful book for kids 

What I understand now is that our body is always making bad or cells that have gone awry.  But most of us can fight it off.  Cancer is when our body is not able to fight them off- an immune deficiency. Never really thought of it that way.

In any event, I am in a good place mentally, and when I look at these two illustrations I am reminded of the warm summer day when I had Griffin at age 5 jump up so I could do this drawing on our patio, and Nate at age 3 modeled for the illustration on the right with his microscope.  

They were little then, 5 and 3 respectively.   Cutie pies. Still are, just as feisty, and just as cute.

My butterflies...

Talking about Cancer

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a helpful, hopeful book for kids

I find myself telling people I know, care about, and people I know I will see in the next few months.

Yesterday I told our Dr. Beach, our Vet.  Today I told the chiropractor.  I figure these people will see me in a couple of months when I may not look like l do today (understatement.)

Is it that I am looking to avoid uncomfortable or awkward situations? Maybe, but I also believe that when people know what we are facing, they can support us in ways we may not even think of.

Heck, that's why I am blogging about cancer.  The more we talk about things, the more we hope to gain some sort of undertanding.

We are fortunate.  There is not the stigma of cancer that was common in the day when Susan G. Komen, and later her sister, Nancy Brinker, founder of Susan G. Komen for the Cure were diagnosed with breast cancer.  I remember reading a story that a neighbor of Susan G. Komen's crossed the street to avoid her on her street.  What she really needed was a hug- I've been getting lots of them.

Thank you.

The Diagnosis

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a helpful, hopeful book for kids

Just getting to this point is nerve wracking... unless you're oblivious like I was - the first time.
I wasn't nervous when I got called back in for more films when the radiologist saw calcifications.

Cancer was not on my radar.

This time, I was a little more savy, a little more - what's the word... suspicious, or let's just say,
not surprised.

That doesn't make hearing the news any easier, or, sharing it with my kids.

And the diagnosis, is only the beginning.
More tests, more doctors visits, and finding the right path to take.

What I have learned:

Always trust your gut.
Always bring someone with you to appointments.
Talk to others who have been through this.
See as many doctors that you need to find the one that is right for you.

AND it matters where you have your imaging done and who reads them.

This is key.  Dr. Beth Deutch of Herspace Breast Imaging in West Long Branch, NJ is among the best and has been my "go to" person for proper diagnosis and guidance is creating my plan for tackling this disease.

Never an Easy Conversation

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

This second time, I was not so delicate.

The phone rang, I heard the news - all three sites from my axilla (armpit) were malignant.  I may have blurted the news right out to Griffin, who is now 13 (he was 5) the first time.  He immediately went and told Nate who is now 11.  His eyes, immediately, began to well up.

I'd like to think I handled it more gently in the moments following. It's never an easy conversation, even with a prior history and all the work I have done with my cousin Ellen.  But we continue to work through it - Together.

That was just about 2 months ago.  Finally, I have a plan.

Make that Plural

The other day my mom went to the doctor...
from Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

Make that Plural in many ways.

I have to use Ellen's words again. sigh.

It's never just one doctor. This time, it was my gyn that sent me for the Breast MRI after I showed her some lumps under my right arm. And that, was only the beginning.

Navigating through doctors and tests is no easy feat. Finding the best course of action, the doctors that you want to - and can (Hello, PPO's, HMO's, EMO's - another world for sure) work with, is mind bending. and nerve wracking.

Now, two months later from this second diagnosis for breast cancer. I have a clear direction- malignant nodes and possibly small tumors in residual breast tissue on the right side where it was originally 8 years ago. A ruptured implant on the left. ug... and Sloan Kettering wants one more biopsy before they schedule my surgery.

Hopefully soon, to get this part over with, but the truth is why do I want to rush it? I feel GOOD and I have my wonderful support system, my hair (!) and am giving thanks that it is a beautiful sunny spring like day!