Couldn't Have Said it Better

Here we are again- Breast Cancer awareness month and with that a wonderful conversation with Richard Gaw, staff writer with Chester County publications. Richard and I sat pond side in my backyard last week and spoke about my experience with cancer, the creation of our book Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings, life and my art.

The results of our brief time together is an insightful and in depth article in the October 23, 2013 issue of the Chester County Press called Small Things with Great Love.


Thanks Richard for being a butterfly for our book and helping it continue its journey to help kids understand cancer.

Taking Off

This recent email touched our hearts and reminds us that the butterfly in Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings has power beyonds the pages of the book.

"I can't tell you how much your book has meant to us. 

(Our son) Benjamin felt very special that it was personalized for him, and it brought tears to both our eyes when we read it together the other night. It certainly answered many of his questions and concerns. For example, I told him about my husband's cancer before we read the book, and his first question was..."is it contagious?"

Tissues
Illustration from Butterfly Kisses andWishes on Wings:
When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©McVicker&Hersh, LLC

Your illustrations are so beautiful! 

I am so glad that I came across your book, and I appreciate you making a special effort to get it to me so quickly. 

Thank you, again, for everything!

Janet Wilson

Thank you Janet, sending your family and you... wishes on wings.

Ellen & Nanci

Talking to Kids about Cancer

Why we do what we do...  our hearts are filled with gratitude that we could help someone, as so many of you have helped me.

I received this email from Ashlie Krejci, a friend of a friend, a "sister" who I have yet to meet. I had heard that Ashlie needed our book, surgery was imminent and she didn't know how to tell her two young sons about her breast cancer. (sound familiar?- all too- for me!) Ashlie is now home recovering and took the time to send me this email today.  

Nate's drawing from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2012McVicker&Hersh, LLC

Thank you so very much for this beautiful gift.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude and tears that a stranger would go to such length to get this book for us.

My son has asked us to read it to him every night.  It has helped us explain what we thought would be so impossible to a 4 year old.  Now he talks about "cells" all day long.  He says someday my cells will be good again and it makes me so happy that he understands!  He demonstrates his understanding by saying that his cells are pink and healthy like Daddy and Chase's and that mine are black and sick.  He then goes on to say that he is sad mine are so sick but that someday my cells will be pink and good again too.  I feel like crying every time he says this but instead I smile because I realize that because he understands what's going on he is able to verbalize his feelings and not be afraid.  He has also started drawing a lot of his emotions after seeing your pictures.  He draws me with no hair and then draws an assortment of hats that he says we can cut out and tape to my bald head when the medicine starts to make my hair fall out. 

I never could have imagined a four year old boy being able to grasp these concepts with such maturity-but YOU helped him with that!

I will be forever grateful to you and this book!

                                                                                  Ashlie Krejci

My heart sings.

Lessons Learned

Some conversations - or lessons learned are never easy.

"She said it's hard to explain.
I asked her to try anyway."
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2012McVicker&Hersh,LLC

My boys attended their first funeral this past weekend. We had a week or two to prepare them that their aunt was in the hospital and that there was a strong chance that she may not pull through.

The real shock was that our sister-in-law was so sick. Apparently, had been for a while. She mentioned some tests to a couple of us, but her adult sons were not aware of all this. These past three weeks, for both of them, have been a crash course in navigating the medical and legal fields, all while dealing with their own shock, sense of overwhelm, grief, and anger, at having been unaware of what was going on with their mom.

Some conversations are never easy, but we need to give our children, at any age, a place to ask questions, express fears and concerns and feel a part of our lives. While we can.

As parents, we want to "protect" our children.  The reality is that we can't. We can only show our love by empowering them with tools that foster resilience and trust. Knowing what and how much to tell our children will vary depending on age and situation, but the lesson learned this past weekend is that it is a conversation that needs to happen, before it's too late.

How much have you told your children about a challenging illness or situation in your family? 

For links to resources and support, please visit our Butterfly Kisses Book website
In addition, Supporting Kidds offers a number of programs and information for grief support for children and their families.

Easing a Child's Burden at a Scary Time

Halloween aside, it's often scary for children and their families any time of year when they hear the word cancer.  

"Mom really likes it when I draw her butterflies!
She says they remind her of our butterfly kisses,..."
from Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

" Nanci, 

     I met you as I was passing through the Breast Cancer Event area at (Helen F.) Graham 

Center. You gave me a book and I brought it home and read it that evening. I was impressed with your beautiful illustrations and the way the story so wonderfully covered every aspect of a child's experience with Breast cancer at home... I ordered 2 more. One for a friend and one for the  Odessa library. It's my way helping in some way to ease a child's burden at such a scary time..."

                   Dolores Sebastian

Thank you Dolores for being a part of our Gift- it- Forward program and sharing our book with others. 

Sending you Wishes on Wings...