Talking about Cancer

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Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a helpful, hopeful book for kids

I find myself telling people I know, care about, and people I know I will see in the next few months.

Yesterday I told our Dr. Beach, our Vet.  Today I told the chiropractor.  I figure these people will see me in a couple of months when I may not look like l do today (understatement.)

Is it that I am looking to avoid uncomfortable or awkward situations? Maybe, but I also believe that when people know what we are facing, they can support us in ways we may not even think of.

Heck, that's why I am blogging about cancer.  The more we talk about things, the more we hope to gain some sort of undertanding.

We are fortunate.  There is not the stigma of cancer that was common in the day when Susan G. Komen, and later her sister, Nancy Brinker, founder of Susan G. Komen for the Cure were diagnosed with breast cancer.  I remember reading a story that a neighbor of Susan G. Komen's crossed the street to avoid her on her street.  What she really needed was a hug- I've been getting lots of them.

Thank you.

The Diagnosis

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Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a helpful, hopeful book for kids

Just getting to this point is nerve wracking... unless you're oblivious like I was - the first time.
I wasn't nervous when I got called back in for more films when the radiologist saw calcifications.

Cancer was not on my radar.

This time, I was a little more savy, a little more - what's the word... suspicious, or let's just say,
not surprised.

That doesn't make hearing the news any easier, or, sharing it with my kids.

And the diagnosis, is only the beginning.
More tests, more doctors visits, and finding the right path to take.

What I have learned:

Always trust your gut.
Always bring someone with you to appointments.
Talk to others who have been through this.
See as many doctors that you need to find the one that is right for you.

AND it matters where you have your imaging done and who reads them.

This is key.  Dr. Beth Deutch of Herspace Breast Imaging in West Long Branch, NJ is among the best and has been my "go to" person for proper diagnosis and guidance is creating my plan for tackling this disease.

Never an Easy Conversation

Pages from
Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

This second time, I was not so delicate.

The phone rang, I heard the news - all three sites from my axilla (armpit) were malignant.  I may have blurted the news right out to Griffin, who is now 13 (he was 5) the first time.  He immediately went and told Nate who is now 11.  His eyes, immediately, began to well up.

I'd like to think I handled it more gently in the moments following. It's never an easy conversation, even with a prior history and all the work I have done with my cousin Ellen.  But we continue to work through it - Together.

That was just about 2 months ago.  Finally, I have a plan.

Make that Plural

The other day my mom went to the doctor...
from Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids

Make that Plural in many ways.

I have to use Ellen's words again. sigh.

It's never just one doctor. This time, it was my gyn that sent me for the Breast MRI after I showed her some lumps under my right arm. And that, was only the beginning.

Navigating through doctors and tests is no easy feat. Finding the best course of action, the doctors that you want to - and can (Hello, PPO's, HMO's, EMO's - another world for sure) work with, is mind bending. and nerve wracking.

Now, two months later from this second diagnosis for breast cancer. I have a clear direction- malignant nodes and possibly small tumors in residual breast tissue on the right side where it was originally 8 years ago. A ruptured implant on the left. ug... and Sloan Kettering wants one more biopsy before they schedule my surgery.

Hopefully soon, to get this part over with, but the truth is why do I want to rush it? I feel GOOD and I have my wonderful support system, my hair (!) and am giving thanks that it is a beautiful sunny spring like day!