Putting "it" (a.k.a. your story) Out There

We seem to get these requests now and then so I figured I would address this most recent question about how to publish your story.

Night table
From Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings:
When someone you love has cancer... a hopeful, helpful book for kids
©2012McVicker&Hersh,LLC

I am currently a 2nd year graduate student within the School of Public Health at the University of Michigan. I am very much interested in writing a book  similar to your "Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings" book. I am blessed to know of a woman who is currently battling her second trail of breast cancer. During her second ordeal with this deadly disease, she learned that the cancer as spread to her brain. While she has every reason in the world to feel depressed and angry, she is still strong, encouraging and one one of the the most joyous individuals you could ever have the pleasure of meeting. I have proposed to her the idea of writing a book and she had agreed. I would like to know if you would honor me by sharing how you went about setting the tone for your book. Also how you went about finding a publisher and illustrator who had your best interest at heart. Again I am completely open to any piece of information that you may have. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon!!!!

Everyone has a story. The question is will other people find it of value and are you willing to do the work it takes to not only create (write, edit, illustrate, design and publish) the story, but then market it?  

To address the first question of setting the tone of the book. That is a very personal thing, meaning- who is your audience? In our case, I needed the words to tell my two young children about my cancer diagnosis,and Ellen had years of experience working with young children. That set our tone. We knew we wanted the language to be clear and easy to understand, as well as compassionate and empowering for children. We wanted my story - and our book to be a gift to other families.

In addition to finding an illustrator you need a book designer. Someone who can help you bring your vision to fruition. It's like finding the right producer for your music or your song. 

Self publishing (here is one of many links from a search) is big business these days. Once considered Vanity Presses and frowned upon, more and more people are doing it and there are many websites that will guide you through the process- for a fee.  So do your homework. Some will help you find an illustrator, may have a program to help you design your book, and even market your book for you. 

Our Team
Ellen (bottom center) and I, (top right) with our team of butterflies who helped
create and launch our book.
TOP-Dr. Beth Deutch (wrote forward, helped launch book) Claudia Ansorge- helped with title and marketing, Nanci
Bottom- Leslie Nicholson- editing, Ellen, Fran Waldmann- book designer

Ellen and I were fortunate to find a great team of people who believed in our story and wanted to help us.  They either did it for a nominal fee, traded for art (mine) or donated their time.  All were extremely generous. Many more have helped us along the way.  Marketing as been a learning experience- and encompasses many various grass roots methods. It was only recently (after 6 years, 5 printings and a Spanish edition) that we were approached and signed with  Montse Cortazar a literary agent who will be representing our book world wide.  The journey continues.

We wish you well on yours.

Disconnect on the screen and in the world

Snuggle Me
From Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings
©2012McVicker&Hersh, LLC

Like you, the tragic event of this past friday at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT weighs heavy on my heart and mind. This senseless violent act, shatters all the families who lost their loved ones as well as the community- who will never be the same. The collective grief which President Obama addressed in his speech last night conveys the love and support we are all sending this small town. The outcry of everyone- parents, sisters, brothers- demonstrates our ability to love and be compassionate to one another. 

So where is the disconnect?  Why is our nation plagued with so many of these horrific actions taken by young men - all children of parents who are also dealing with loss and grief?

This is the cancer that no one is talking about. Violence, that is permeating our culture in the media and entertainment in the form of video games.  My kids claim they are the only ones of their friends who don't have Black Ops, Call of Duty, Halo... etc.  I know that isn't true, but I do know that our household is in the minority.

Many times over the years when my sons were younger and I would drop them off at a friend's home to play I would ask the parent that the boys not play any of those violent video games. Often, the mom would confide in me that she doesn't like those games either but that the father or dad thinks they are fine, or likes to play them with their son.  It hasn't been easy keeping them out of the house. It's an ongoing conversation but one that I stand my ground on.  I don't want that violence in my home. Period. Thankfully, my husband and I are on the same page. 

But maybe this is where we as parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends begin to make the change that President Obama spoke of when he said last night- 

"...We're not doing enough, and we will have to change."

How about thinking about what is under your tree this year or on your child's screen? 

Let's raise our sons and daughters to be compassionate, resilient and non violent one less video game at a time.

Butterflies in the Sisterhood

One of the most powerful gifts that can come out of a cancer experience are the people you meet along the way.  The "C" Club or the "Sisterhood" of breast cancer survivors, is not one that any of us choose, but once initiated, we embraced with open arms of compassion, practical advice or a knowing hug.  Within and without, there are numerous Angels -those wonderful souls who seem heaven sent to help or watch over you, and Butterflies, beautiful kind beings who are with you on your journey, who come to us in all sorts of ways.

Joining the Sisterhood, 2005
Encaustic, collage on wood
©2012NanciHersh

One such butterfly who I have shared my journey with is Maria Carzia Boyes.  I first met Maria - through a phone conversation when I heard from someone close to each of us that she needed a copy of our book to share with her young daughter Eva.  Later, when Maria was going through her treatment, I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time. And unlike the first diagnosis 8 years ago, I would be facing chemo and radiation myself.  Maria and I would often check in with each other to see how it was going, what to expect and for some mutual support. We were able to chat easily and enjoyed checking in with each other, on the phone, email and FB- but had never met in person. 

Maria with her daughter Eva at
the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 2012

UNTIL I was in NY at my surgeons office for a follow up earlier this year.   After my examination I was asked to return to the waiting room to schedule a future appointment.  Lost in thought, I heard my name called and went up and sat at the desk when all of a sudden a woman with an electric smile comes up to me and says, "Nanci Hersh?" Never having met Maria in person I didn't recognize her, but coincidentally we had the same breast surgeon and had an appointment the same day.  Within moments we were hugging and continue to be cheerleaders for each other.  In October Maria was interviewed in Central Jersey. Com and now, you too can meet Maria and see what a beautiful butterfly truly looks like!

Eva, Maria and Jim


Who has been a butterfly in your journey?